This post is dedicated to the man who provided the catalyst for the Tunisian 'uprising' which in turn spawned the so-called 'Arab Spring', Mohamed Bouazizi.
This single incident sparked anti-government protests throughout North Africa, the Middle East through to the Levant. The repercussion of which are still being felt. This has resulted in changes of government, civil war, regime dithering and many deaths. The majority of people within this region wish to live in a peaceful, democratic society where they are in control of their own lives and destinies. At present most live under conditions that very few people in the West could envisage. Their lives are controlled and scrutinised by their 'rulers' and fellow citizens within the framework or the military and the 'Secret Services' of the country involved. Dictatorship, Tyranny, Autocracy, Corruption and Nepotism are the order of the day. Democracy rarely gets a look in................Until now!
Mohamed Bouazizi was a, humble, 26 year old vegetable seller trying to make a living. He did'nt have a license or more likely could not or would not offer a bribe to some local official or a bent copper. In protest of the confiscation of his wares and the harassment and humiliation that he reported was inflicted on him by a municipal official and her aides in addition to being spat at by a Policeman he set fire to himself and died of his injuries later, in hospital.
Above - Mohamed Bouazzi - March 29, 1984 – January 4, 2011
Ash-sha 'b yurid isquat an-nizam ("The people want to bring down the regime").
Well, it's that time of year again! Migrant birds are on the move, flowers are blooming, insects are busy and millions and millions of...........people want regime change - Ahhhhhh, natures' endless cycle.............
The BBC's team of intrepid naturalists.......and Kate Humble have been sent on a special mission to North Africa and The Middle East at great public expense (lets' hope it comes out of the Foreign Aid budget) to 'take the pulse' of the region and chat with any of the locals that are allowed to talk.
The team, as usual, is comprised of..........................
Bill Oddie and.........................Kate Humble.
'The bearded one' and......'She who is worth many camels'
Assisted by the Dynamic Duo of............................
Chris Packham and.........Simon King.
Gay looking 'infidel'....Don't worry he's not a real King!
Naturally they will have to be discreet in their dress and not go on the piss. To this end the folks in the make-up department have spared no expense in adjusting their image raghead-stylee for the new passport photographs which should look something like the offerings below...............
Oddie - 'El Presidente'! and ............the Humble burqua.
'I'll be in the harem!............'Do i look like Fahd?
The one thing that Johnny Foreigner, particularly in North Africa and the Middle East love is a powerful, military-backed autocrat. Somebody with a 'strongman' image, a figure to look up to, admire, fear.
Well, that was the popular misconception until the 'Arab Spring' of 2011! It turns out that people the world over would rather have a bit more say in how they live their lives and quite like the idea of becoming citizens of a democratically elected process rather than living under a military-run junta or subjects of a powerful ruling elite.
Which makes us here in good old Blighty something in-between........Or does it???
Above- a few of 'the usual suspects'.
I will illustrate this point with a rogues gallery of the usual suspects as we work our way from West to East from the relativley benign regime of Morocco in the Mahgreb (that that faces West) through the newly fallen 'dominoes' of the Middle East via the centre of the Muslim Caliphate of the Arab states to the potentially volatile regimes of The Levant.
MOROCCO...................................... BOB HOSKINS
Above - Mohammed HassanVI, head of a ruling dynasty of some 300 years standing, backed by the military, a 'democratic' parliament with the major players appointed by him, has absolute say in religious, military and foreign policy. That is about to change, watch this space.
Also good Bob Hoskins' lookalike particulary with regard to The Long Good Friday which ironically enough was about corrupt politicians.
Above - it's always good to kick a man when he's down - Casablanca.
TUNISIA................................ROBERT MAXWELL
Above - Zine El Abidine Ben Ali and Right, a dead newspaper magnate....
There you go 2 cunts for the price of one, what have they got in common? As well as looking like one another they both stole vast sums of money which they had been entrusted and that was'nt theirs and squirreled it away and/or spent it on lavish lifestyles. Maxwell did the decent but cowardly thing and committed suicide by throwing himself off a boat and in the process raised the level of the Mediterranean by several feet whilst the former Tunisian hard man has fucked off to, surprise, surprise SANDY ARABIA with his wife, kids and favourite camel for when he fancies the real thing!
Above - Mohamed Bouazzi.
Abidine Ben Ali is not only wanted by his own government but also by Interpol for money-laundering and drug-traffiking - he also presided over and incredibly corrupt and nepotistic regime that saw his relatives and close friends running the Police and more importantly the Secret Service, you know the ones that torture everybody.............Not bad for somebody that did'nt even finish fucking Secondary school (so there is hope for all our indigenous Chavs then).
So to all of the sad fucks that go to (or used to) Tunisia for their cheap holidays but never really see the real Tunisia check out the regime before you decide to line the pockets of cunts like these because that is all you have been doing for the last 25 years.
Bear in mind that this fucking crook has been the only candidate up for election and has sometimes garnered 100% of the vote from a staggering 95% turnout, not bad for a country with only 10.4 million - dream on Nick Clegg!
Unfortunately the only thing that he has'nt got in common with Maxwell is that he is'nt DEAD!
ALGERIA................PAUL DANIELS
Above - President Abdelaziz-boutefika and somebody else who wo'nt dissapear, Paul Daniels.
Everything about Algeria is.........BIG.
It is the largest country on the Mediterranean Sea.
The largest country in the Arab world.
Second largest country on the African continent, after Sudan. It will become the largest after the secession of Southern Sudan from Sudan (Christian South, Muslim North) takes place on the 11th July 2011 - if anybody is left alive to vote!
Above - Police/student stand off in Algiers.
This will make it the 10th largest country on Earth.
Ruled, basically as an extension of France in all but name from 1830 until 1954 and home to the French Foreign Legion - that's when it all changed - the war of independence left several hundred thousand dead and an estimated 1.5 million were allowed to settle in France or face being imprisoned, shot or lynched for having collaberated with French rule. Now, Marseille is basically an extension of Algeria with the usual slums and high crime rate to back it up.
"Let's go to the stoning"
Second and Third generation descendants are still know by the derogatory term from when their parents/grandparents arrived as 'Pied-Noirs' - the Black Feet!
Algeria is a member of OPEC otherwise you would'nt know they were there and this is the only reason why people visit there in order to work in the petrochemical industry - until they need rescuing at the British taxpayers expense courtesy of the RAF - the selfish shits!
1991-2002 saw an unbelievably vicious 'civil' war between the government and Islamic extremests with in excess of 150,000 killed. More importantly the present, autocratic government have maintained a 'state of emergency' that has only just been lifted due to events happening to their neighbours all around. Currently 34.5m repressed citizens.
Algeria is termed a 'Presidential Republic' with Paul Daniels as El Presidente with a Prime Minister as Head of Government - so a nod to democracy but the military lurk in the background as Kingmakers. Algeria is the regional 'hotspot' and is the considered source of Islamic fundamentalist activity and has been impilicated in the recent bombing in Marrakesh.
Sitta ledanti -
Above - The Algerian Nuthatch, endemic to relict woodland in the Northern Atlas Mountains bordering the Mediterranean. The World population is estimated at less than 1,000 pairs. This species was only discovered in 1975 and is currently the only reason to visit the fucking place.
Despite extensive searches in the rest of the country there is still no sign of democracy............
LIBYA...........................TOM JONES
Above - Kernel Muammar Goddawful and Right, the original 'Valley Boy'.
Libya has the 10th largest, proven, oil reserves in the World and a very small population of under 6.5m in the Worlds' 17th largest country by land area. This is why we are spending so much of our defence budget pounding the crap out of Tom Jones - sorry we are there to support the fledgling democratic government in opposition! Oil is also the main reason why the French have rolled their sleeves up and started mixing it - they get virtually all their oil from Libya and the Gaddafi regime is THE major supplier to the European market.
Gaddafi has been the regional 'strongman', Arab spokesman and self-proclaimed head of the Maghreb states - Libya does not face West so this is disputed by the others.
This sycophantic, megalomanic, vain and pompous idiot took power by military coup in 1969 when he was the venerable age of.............27 - basically straight from his fucking paper round and unfortunately has been a, dangerous, pain in the arse ever since.
Above - more than enough........
He implemented Sharia law, employs upto 20% of the populace to spy on the others, suppresses democracy and any form of free speech and routinely has people executed publicly. He now plays openly on his supposed 'desert' arab roots and can generally be seen wearing a range of designer hessian sacks complete with tasteless pornstar sunglasses eschewing the ever-popular must-have military garb complete with Christmas-cracker medals much beloved of tyrannical dictators the World over.
Oh, his regime is also responsible for fomenting terrorism in all it's forms far beyond the Gulf of Sirte, training and arming the IRA and let's no forget the Lockerbie bombing or the tragic death of WPC Yvonne Fletcher.
Pan Am 103 and, right, the tragic seen of a Police Officer shot from the Libyan Embassy!
He also provided a safe house for IDI AMIN before the regime in SANDY ARABIA let him live in a grace and favour residence until he died in 2003.
IDI AMIN - The last King of Scotland!........RIP
Each medal represents 100,000 of his own citizens butchered or murdered.
Gaddafi has been the regional 'loose cannon' and street bully for long enough, he is regarded as 'yesterdays man' by his richer arab neighbours who 'tut-tut' at his deranged ideas and aspects of his foreign policy but have convenientally remained relatively silent and somewhat distant during the present conflict lest it draw too many parallels with their own shady regimes.
Libya, with its' oil revenues has benefited from immense wealth that has not percolated down to the general populace -
So Muammar where's the fucking money?
If he does'nt get cluster-bombed in his blast-proof tent or shot by his own soldiers (he employs thousands of African mercenaries) he will probably do a midnight flit to guess where...................SANDY ARABIA.
EGYPT...........................JO BRAND
Above - 'Hardman' Hosni Mubarak, 30 years of corruption and repression.
If you are confused, Mubarak is the one on the Left!
Egypt has 'officially' been a 'Republic' since 1953 but has laboured under 'Emergency Law' since 1967. This as a direct result of well-publicised 'spats' with their 'neighbours from Hell' - the Israelites. Although 'peace' was brokered by Mubaraks' predecessor Anwar Sadat the situation has remained thus.
Seen, by the West, as a 'safe pair of hands' as is usually the case it means that the Western powers, in this case Israel and the United States, are prepared to turn a blind eye to an autocratic government that represses its' own citizens and a 'faux' democracy. Internal pressure resulted in 'sham' elections in 2005 which was characterised by the usual Police brutality, allegations of fraud and vote-rigging......................Oh and the 'runner-up' was jailed indefinately!
CLIMATE
Most of Egypts' rain falls in the Winter months. Temperatures vary from 70C to 120C in the Summer months. Under Hosni Mubarak the climate has been one of fear..........
ENVIRONMENT
Every Third World country has to have a prestige, headline-grabbing construction scheme. Usually funded by loans from the World Bank.
Egypt is no exception! The construction of the Aswan Dam started in 1960 and was opened 1o years later, ostensibly to 'control' the seasonal flooding of the Nile and to generate 'much-needed' hydro-electric power.
The Nile has fertized and fed the people of Egypt for millenia indeed the waters were known as 'the gift of the Nile'. Egypts' cultural development and status within the region and the development of agriculture are directly attributable to the life-giving powers of the Nile. It ensured a regular supply of plentiful food crops year-round.
Benefits have been dubious - fish production in Lake Nasser, hydro-electric, flood alleviation and more navigable routes for the ever fickle 'tourists' are oft-quoted.
Upto 120,000 people were displaced including 50,000 Nubians who were re-settled and provided with irrigated land to grow a few subsistance crops and sugar-cane for processing - i suppose they could develop a 'sweet' tooth....The loss of the alluvial areas made most of the brick-makers (blessed were the brick-makers!) redundant as their deposits were now under water and with no silt reaching the mouth of the Nile this led to the collapse of the entire Eastern Mediterranean Sardine industry which was a major regional supplier, locally consumed and the knock-on effect on the food chain. It also means that all the farmers downstream from the dam now have to use bought-in fertilizers whose excess run-off has boosted the fishing catch - Oh the irony!
FOOD CHAIN
Simple food chain from the Pharoahs to before the Aswan Dam.
The 'gift of the Nile' waters = seasonal flooding of agricultural land =
Sardine production at the mouth of the Nile = Food, Income and Work.
Food chain 'post' Aswan to the present day and foreseeable future.
Generation of hydro-electric power and increased use of fertilizer.
= vast amounts of money and corruption = a very rich ruling elite.
Egypt is now a major importer of foodstuffs particularly to feed the vast throngs of tourists who swarm to Sharm-el-Sheik all year round in the mistaken belief that they are actually visiting Egypt!
Ironically Mubarak is languishing under house arrest at Sharm whilst awaiting trial -
Above - Mubarak. 'somewhere' in the Red Sea area.
Meanwhile where's the fucking money Hosni?
THE ARABIAN PENINSULA
This region is beyond the scope of this post as, apart from Bahrain in the North and Yemen in the South, there has been no noticeable change in policy with regard to the rulers of the various countries/emirates/fiefdoms and their autocratic treatment of their unfortunate subjects.
SAUDI ARABIA - is the key player in the region, it is the biggest in terms of land area, the most populous and has the largest reserves of that Black, oily stuff that the West craves so much - without this of course they would be fuck all. They also have a huge military capacity, most of which has been provided by us, the Yanks and of course the French - who will sell to anybody (remember the Falklands?)
Above - stand off in Jeddah.
BAHRAIN - saw a brief flickering of democracy with well-publicised mass gatherings at the 'Pearl' roundabout. This was fine until these meetings began to get too popular and a little bit 'rowdy'. Too popular that is for Bahrains' immediate neighbours particularly Saudi Arabia, after all, democracy can be contagious it easily becomes the 'must have' amongst people that 'don't have'.
Although Bahrain is considered 'liberal' by most Arab 'watchers' with far more achieved in the area of Wimmins Rights compared to its' immediate neighbour who regularly beheads women, in public, for daring to want a relationship outside of an arranged marriage. Indeed foreign women have been executed for taking retribution against their 'employers' (they have invariably been beaten and/or raped). The Saudis' were asked to intervene in the 'unrest' which they eagerly stepped in to show the Bahrainis' 'who was boss'! Trials of a large number of Bahraini citizens have taken place with the usual show-trials and draconian punishment of those concerned - the Bahrain government have even incarcerated medical staff including the only specialised Oncologist in the country for daring to treat injured victims of 'legimate' protests.
Or it it?
The Saudi Arabian government have not shown the same enthusiasm to support any of the fledgling democracies elsewhere -
The rulers of Saudi Arabia like to lead by example and are keen to show their neighbours just how to go about things when it comes to punishing their own subjects.
Death of a Princess.....Let's have a whip round...Let's go to the stoning!
All the countries within this area share a number of characteristics that are also key features of an Autocracy or Dictatorship the world over, past, present and future.
1. A ruling elite, either of Royal lineage or by military coup and whoever is in power needs the backing of the military. These regimes do not always start out as a dictatorship e.g. Hitler............
2. They are usually 'single economy' countries, in this case OIL. All within the region and most outside of the area are OIL or, to a lesser extent, GAS. It is much easier to control the economy and use the funds created if the source of income derives from as few commodities as possible - OIL fits this bill admirably!
3. The regimes concerned become obsessed with 'state' control and spends an inordinate amout of time and money gathering information and spying on its' own citizens. This encourages a 'climate' of fear and suspicion which those in power are keen to encourage.
4. Images of the regime and its' leader(s) adorn the landscape serving as a reminder of whom you are subservient to, reinforcing the 'Big Brother' scenario - this coupled with control of all media traditionally the Press, TV and Radio. The advent of the Internet gives these oppressive regimes serious cause for concern and rightly so
5. In a number of regimes outside of the peninsula the bulk of the population are actively repressed, when required, and live in relative poverty. Not so the OIL-rich Arabs. Their indigenous population(s), as long as they belong to the same tribe/clan/religion as the ruling elite are spoon-fed revenue from the overflowing coffers, free education and health care etc as long as they toe the line whether it be government dictat or Sharia or whatever. Minority groups/interests/religions/foreigners fare badly in these countries with, if they are lucky, lip-service paid to them and their requests.
The West, be it OIL infrastructure, defence contracts, civil engineering, banking and other areas of support, bend over backwards to kow-tow to these regimes because of financial considerations.
I personally would scrutinise very carefully any dealings with these countries particularly the Saudis.........They are responsible for funds flowing to various anti-Western 'terrorist'-interest groups. The revenues from OIL fund the mosque and minaret building in Europe and the literature and media support for own home-grown 'Johnny Jihads' - when they are not in Pakistan undergoing their 'Manchurian Candidate' processing. The extreme WAHABI sects' interpretation of the Koran by the Saudis' is copied by most of the current 'problem' groups whether they realise it or not.
Above - a handful of WAHABI nuts.
The ruling House of Saud is described as an 'absolute islamic monarchy' if that does'nt give you cause for concern then nothing will!
According to the World Gender Gap Report out of 134 countries assessed for their 'gender parity gap' Saudi Arabia scored.............nil - well done lads!
JORDAN.................WALKEN
Officially the 'Hashemite Kingdom of Jordan'. Ruled by King Abdullah II since his fathers, death in 1999 - the first thing he did was to re-affirm the Peace Treaty with Israel! Always good to get on with your neighbours especially if they are Jewish and carry a gun 24/7.......
What have the Israeli army and Peter Andre got in common?
A. They have both made incursions into 'Jordan'..................
Abdullah II is 4th generation 'ruler' of Jordan whether he proves to be as popular a ruler as his fathers' relatively 'benign' regime remains to be seen. The present regime and internal 'situation' would appear, to an outsider, to have more in common with the Western end of the region i.e. Morocco. One important added ingredient, however, is the presence of very large numbers of local migrants that have fled some of the oppressive regimes covered already.
Below - former benign rulers.
Above - Lord Voldemort and former King Hussein of Jordan.
They comprise Syrian arabs a percentage of which have fled from the current conflict as well as more established exiles from the present 'rulers' father. Palestinians who have either fled Israel or the West Bank/Gaza. More recently large numbers of Iraqi's of Christian faith fleeing religious persecution and even Turkish Kurds seeking Sanctuary from internal oppression in that part of the World.
Above - protests in Amman.
Jordan is situated in the ancient 'Fertile Crescent'.
Jordans' Fertile Crescent and Jordan with her fertile crescent.
For the time being the populace has been promised the usual 'reforms' with more government 'clarity', and control of basic food prices.
SYRIA......................................BORAT
Located at the extreme Eastern end of the Meditteranean Syria was part of the 'Cradle of Civilisation' of the Ancient World - an equable climate (moister at the time, as was the whole of the Southern Mediterranean and North Africa) and proximity to the 'Fertile Crescent' allowed the development of Agriculture, the first breeding of cattle and establishment of 'seats of learning' which led to innovation and a rich cultural history.
Gas has been discovered, agriculture and tourism remain stable incomes and there are there are oil reserves which are part of the natural extension of the Iraqi fields at Kirkuk and Mosul so i suppose it depends on who pumps them dry quick enough!
Fought over time and again over the millenia by Phoenicians, Alexander the Great, the Roman Empire and the Ottomans, finally gaining independence from France as a 'Parliamentary Republic' in 1946. More recently regular 'scuffles' with the from 'neighbours from Hell', has led to the current occupation of the Golan Heights by the Zionists. Their main water supply will also be subject to control by the Turks who have now dammed the source of the Tigris and the Euphrates thus affecting everybody downstream, watch this space - the next conflict will be over water, not oil, so we should be OK.
CLIMATE
Predominately one of fear and repression with widespread Sunni areas and scattered Shias.
Above - dead protesters in Syria.
Following a 30 year rule and establishment of the B'aathis party by his father Hafaz-al-Assad the country is now run by his son Bashar who reluctantly returned from London following the death of his brother. Bashar took the reins of power after 'Parliament' changed the law stating that it was mandatory to be a minimum age of 40 reduced to 34.This allowed his son to apply for the job!
DJ Paul Gambaccini and....................the late Hafaz-al-Assad.
He promised 'reforms', apart from the above, he closed a prison and allowed hundreds of political 'dissidents' and that's about it folks..............
The situation with regard to human rights is acknowledged as one of the worst in the World. Secret Police are widespread, dissidents are routinely detained and tortured. Laws discrimate against against girls and women with the courts granting leniency for so-called 'honour crimes'........ Lovely........ The situation might be a little easier for the Christian minority as his Syrian wife, born in London as she is/was CofE. Recent reports have said that their 3 children now reside back in London because of the present 'unsafe' internal situation!
"Is it coz i is Syrian"?
"No, it's because you iz an autocratic dictatorial cunt.
Bashar has recently shown a distinct 'hardline' towards civil insurrection, something his Dad would've been proud of. Massacres both small and large were frequent during Hafazs' regime and the arab 'Spring' has seen bombing and shelling of 'dissident' villages and collective punishment of perceived 'troublesome' towns with what has been, effectively, 'scorched earth' policy that the German army in Russia during the retreat from Stalingrad would have been proud of! Grain fields, orchards, vineyards and olive groves in several areas have been reduced to charred vegetation and rubble.
Below, Bashar not known for his sense of humour.
"Torture, repression, burnt crops........Just like that!"
Like Father, Like Son?
Just one more thing, to all those crooked, corrupt bastards busy repressing their own citizens.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mBS0OWGUidc
UPDATE........................
Mohamed Bouazizi has now been celebrated by being represented on an issue of Tunisian stamps, it's a pity that he did not live to see them.
