Bringing up baby..............
Of course, little Zachary will want for nothing........materialy-speaking potential heir to an as-we-speak £175 million fortune. Nothing except for knowing who your parents actually are?
It's difficult enough when it is just 'straight' adoption when both blood-parents are actually known never mind when you are an egg from one donor and then carried in the womb of another woman (brings another meaning to the phrase 'cash-cow'). As for the 'Father' - who actually donated the sperm? Common sense would dictate that it would have to have been 'Rocket Mans'.
As sperm works better at a moderate room-type temperature (too cold and the little critters wont swim too warm and they die off, bit like tadpoles) Davids participation would probably been to have carried Eltons spunk around in his mouth (wonder how it got there?) and puke it up into a willing and waiting vagina! I would have thought that the sight of a fanny to a poof would have been a real incentive to chuck up. It can be for some of us heterosexuals as well.
Below -Eltons' reaction upon being shown a picture of a vagina.
It's a pity that Elton and David chose to display their 'pride and joy' via the tasteless chav toilet paper that is OK magazine and no doubt add hundreds and thousands of pounds to the kids inheritance. They have already found a couple of willing 'celeb' godparents - you think they might have gone for one of their close friends to who they are already godparents like Liz Hurley or Victoria Beckham..............................................on second thoughts, not a good idea.
They have gone for a couple of New York dykes Ingrid Sishy and Sandy Brant valued for their privacy and discretion.
Above - Ingrid and Sashy remain tight-lipped.
Sishy was chosen by Elton to 'ghost-write' his auto-biography a while ago whilst Brant was present at his 'civil' ceremony whereas Hurley and Becks just came for drinks later on!
So let's get this clear - he gets somebody to write his life story, somebody to donate an egg, somebody to carry the baby and he will probably have a cartload of illegal Mexicans to bring the kid up. So, Elton, just what the fuck will you actually be doing?
Bear in mind that he did go through a few hoops to try and import a child from the Ukraine a while ago.........
Above Right, the one that got away....................
Below - Elton after an unsuccessful shopping trip to Tokyo.
Above - "Anything to declare Sir?"
It's a pity because the country is crawling with Ukrainian skanks more than willing to get married and have a kid for a few hundred quid in order to get a legal toehold in 'Treasure Island PLC' that this country has become and Elton has to go to all that trouble.
There's nowt so queer as folk.............
You 'aint seen me........right!
