Well, you only need a modicum of common sense to work out that there is no way that this particular event can be predicted or monitered. The whole thing is a political exercise to see who can be given the birthing brownie points. Usually a toss up between India and China as they are the Worlds' most populous nations. Of course that does'nt mean to say that either will be the proud parents of the Worlds' 7 billionth kid does it?
It's Indias' turn - China had hoped for both the 6 and 7 billionth kid ( at 1.34 billion who is to say they are not wrong) and not to outdone India has stepped up production of dodgy viagra, started shagging night and day and has been deemed to be the chosen nation. Number 6bill went to Sarajevo in Bosnia-WherestheVagina. A nice little reward following the particularly nasty civil war which has had the Serbs scapegoated and left Europe with its' only Muslim state namely Kosovo!
Have you ever wondered why there are so many fit, young Kosovans over here washing cars and laundering money - they arrived courtesy of the EU - well, thanks for nothing you bunch of cunts.
Above - Chinky kids, they really do all look the same, it's true!
Below - Indian kid (or kids, it's a bit hard to tell) perhaps not the best example.
Below - the real multi-armed goddess, Shiva.
India and China might be the Worlds' most populous nations India currently at 1.2bill but we all know where the growth rate is highest.............Sub Saharan Africa. Women of child-bearing age in Chad, for example have an average of 6 kids...........is that all? The girls and women of Dudley in the West Midlands have an average litter of 6!
Below - Natalie, from the Wrens' Nest Estate waiting for a Group 4 security van to take her to Winson Green prison to visit some of the fathers.
Above - one of Natilies' feckless fathers W**** of S*****y G**e Wollaston was not available for comment.
Interestingly that the Worlds' 7 billionth kid is not going to be born in a muslim country, say Pakistan. Why not, they all breed like flies (well they do over here anyway) surely one of the poorer muslim countries could have been a suitable candidate?
Or is it because the practice infanticide on females and the ones that do make it are kept repressed for the rest of their lives? Just a thought.
Despite not being either populous or poor i would have thought that several 'celebrity' mums might have put a bid in on Eboy (or girl) in order to purchase the Worlds' 7 billionth baby. Nothing cynical of course just giving a kid a start in life.
Above - Madonna and The'Brangelinas' who, between them, could start their own 3rd-World orphanage.
"WE need MORE children"!
Says' a spokesman from the charity Save The Children For Me............
Needless to say a number of other countries have got on the 7 billionth 'bandwagon' all claiming the symbolic child for themselves. What grabbed my attention (having too much time on my hands) was this offering from Russia........
Below - Peter Nikolayev.
Amongst all the usual statistics such as time, location etc was the creatures' astonishing and i quote - "The baby weighs 3,600 kilograms,” the local news offices report with baited breath.
I'll bet it was 'baited', fuck me are they sure it was'nt an American kid concieved, nurtured and hatched in a branch of Macdonalds in New Orleans! That's 7940lbs in English about the weight of an immature African bull elephant. I mean, if they cannot get the weight right.........
Below - a child born today in the maternity ward of a Lousinia hospital.
Above - a 'normal' sized resident of the Mississippi Delta.
I personally think that the figure of 7 billion was reached several years ago and has been exceeded by several hundred million and that China has been breeding, but not declaring the births, in order to supply organs for transplants to Western Europe. I also think the Catholic church hold several million in dungeons in Eastern Europe, Central America and Southern Ireland as sex slaves for their employees.
I believe that the 7 billionth child was born in Central Rwanda about 5 years ago and is called ZEBO!
Above - ZEBO with 'Mugabe' his pet Lappet-Faced Vulture.
In order to 'do my bit for charity', being a family man and all that let me give you a bit of background information with regard to...........ZEBO.
Zebo is a half blind 5 year old African orphan. He has to ride 7 miles a day to school with only one leg, on a bicycle with buckled wheels and no brakes. Give just a small donation of £2 pounds and we will send you the DVD - it's fucking hilarious...........
It is estimated, today, that at least 20,000 children under 5 years old will die of preventable diseases, mainly diahorrea and malnutrition.
A sobering thought.
