I was'nt going to spend time on Photoshop working on the above image as i thought, 'prisms' to good for him'! But i thought that if i can combine a manipulated image with a subtle play on words then it would be time well spend and, literally, brighten up a dull day.............
Charlie is a 'metaphorical' prism of sorts. Pampered , good education, plenty of pocket money. All this put in and what emerges the other side is drug abuse, an ungodly amount of hubris, too much time on his fucking hands and a penchant for criminal damage, incitement and trashing of iconic war memorials.
CHARLIE GILMOUR = GLAMOUR RICH LIE
Things have moved on since the previous 2 posts...............
Chuck was initially confined to HMP Wandsworth, a Victorian penal edifice if ever there was one. At aged 21 he was the youngest inmate there. He received copious reading material from, 'friend of the family' none other than Elton John! Maybe Reg could pull a few strings and supply him with contacts inside that would be 'gentle' with young Charlie...........Meanwhile he had the obligatory Facebook page set up to 'Free Charlie Gilmour' - a pity i could'nt be bothered to set up a 'Fuck Charlie Gilmour' but maybe i will leave that to his 'new friends', perhaps something along the lines of 'I Fucked Charlie Gilmour'?
I would buy that T-shirt! -
Above - 'old friend' and right................'new friends'.
He has also had an open letter from a bunch of Cambridge 'Dons' and another from a high-up prison official bemoaning the severity of his fate. Considering his background it will be one hell of a culture shock..................for the bank robber that he shared the cell with!
Perhaps a word with another 'Don' might have led to a reduction in the sentence?
He claimed to have not known that he was swinging from The Cenotaph due to the heady cocktail of drugs and alcohol - i would be more concerned that a Cambridge History student did not know what the Cenotaph was? BTW Cenotaph means 'empty tomb', what a CenoCunt!
CHARLIE GILMOUR = HEROIC GLUM LIAR
In addition to the public outrage, baying media and point-scoring politicians there was positive and negative reaction from opposing 'interests.
Below - one RAF veteran described the sentence as 'harsh'.
Above - his Mums' initial comment was 'I'm as ashamed of him as he is of himself'.
This will probably be 'the last post' on Chaz as i do not see him courting publicity anytime soon.
If you wish to view the previous post on the crazy dudes gap year then click the link below -
http://stourbridgerantboy.blogspot.com/2011/07/charlie-gilmours-gap-year2.html
If you're a glutton for punishment then you can take a look at the original post, just click below -
http://stourbridgerantboy.blogspot.com/2010/12/charlie-gilmour-just-another-prick-on.html
Below - Chazs' mum, Polly - MILF of the month for me!
Despite numerous tweets from his Mum, the Author, Polly Samson saying that he was misunderstood and he never 'knew' his Father, the Poet, Heathcote Williams.
Below is resume of his dads' antics.
Heathcote Williams (who was born John Henley Jasper Heathcote-Williams in 1941) had set up an anarchist ‘state’ — a squat called Frestonia — in the middle of London back in the Seventies, which proclaimed itself independent of Britain, with Williams himself serving as ‘ambassador to the UK’.
Later, he would declare war on the car (which included a call to arms to his compatriots to vandalise vehicles by ‘slashing their tyres’, ‘shoving potatoes up the exhaust’ and ‘slashing brake-fluid on to the bodywork’).
Needless to say, he also caused havoc while a student at Oxford — turning up to his law finals in an SS uniform, a stunt that resulted in him being kicked out of the university.
And these were not the only entries on Heathcote Williams’ colourful CV. He worked briefly as a professional fire-eater.
No mention of herself being expelled from Newton Abbott Grammer School, he still went to Jail. When i say Jail i mean the obligatory short stay in somewhere percieved as 'hard' before being whisked off to somewhere much leafier for the remainder of his 'confinement. In Chucks' case it was rural Norfolk and Wayland Prison.
The prison is situated near the sleepy hamlet of Cheyne Stoking deep in the heart of the East Anglian countryside and welcomes careful drivers!
Above - HMP Wayland, for wayland girls and boys.
Note the flag fluttering from the top of the building, it might be worth lowering it for the duration of Charlies stay as if we need any reminder of why he was in in the first place.
He has a 'thing' about flags does Charlie.
He was'nt being disrespectful it was merely an extension of his childhood activites, after all, all kidz climb don't they?
Above - upon release from 'Clinky' Charlie says he's going straight............... straight down the pub for a fucking drink and a celebratory joint and will spend his time social-climbing instead. No surprises there!
No doubt the, no less than, 13 testimonials given as his 'character' reference including Alan Yentob, majority BBC shareholder and a homeless charity has helped with the sentencing. He did some work for them during his gap year. Gap year? What the fuck is he on now? Smuggled drugs? He does'nt need some smack, he needs a smack!
Whilst inside Charlie took solace from a smuggled copy of his Mothers' short stories of course when he gets out he can write his own short story regarding the length of his prison sentence.
(You are not going to believe this - as i type, this book is actually being read as the Book At Bedtime on Radio 4 - you could'nt make it up!)
ROLY BIRKIN QC, defending Charlie for solicitors Corker-Binning put up a superb fight for the lad. Here he describes the bonfire party that Charlie missed.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NPiGJBHVadA
He got 16 months of which he will only do 8 of which he has only done 4 and is now out, in time for Crimbo with a shiny new ankle braclet to show his mates back in Brighton and Girton.
He has'nt wasted his time in clinky, there's sooooo much to do and with Charlies' much-reduced sentence so little time in which to do it! Gone are the days when you broke rocks all day in the rain or sewed mail bags and then relaxed with a spot of anal sex in the small hours.
You can indulge your interests, hobbies or learn new skills, all the while making new friends and adding followers to your website, built at the taxpayers expense. Prison Officers now have to book an appointment to search your cell for illegal drugs or SIM cards and if it's not convenient because you might be entertaining a fellow cell-mate you can still tell the screws to fuck off!
HMP Wayland offers the following....................
Face-Painting for beginners.
Improving You Literary Skills. In this case from an ex-Wayland alumni.
You do'nt have to have an artistic bent you can just be bent.
Chuck did make 'Playmate Of The Month' for all 4 months of his internship.
Charlie was taught about family values and how to play Mummies and Daddies by DuWayne, his E wing cellmate. As a tribute to his stepdad DuWayne agreed to leave him 'uncomfortably numb'.
CHARLIE GILMOUR = GIRLIE CHUM ORAL
(none of that where he's going)
Perhaps a film/book/TV deal upon his release?
It is rumoured that he will appear alongside Mr T on...............
Below - 'new look' Chaz c/w swagger and fag.
The obvious 'new skill' to add to your bow, as a student he probably needs little introduction, is the art of the 'roll up'. Charlie sauntered out of his dungeon complete with his caravan of luggage proudly displaying a modest effort tucked behind his left ear. Was it coincidence? Or was it cocking a snook at 'authority'? We'll never know............In prison 'havin' a fag' has many connotations!
Of course, some of us churlish taxpayers thought that the sentence was far too light and that the punishment should fit the crime.
Below, left - Charlie seated in Girton College, Cambridge.
Above, right - Chuck as he would be seated, in order to shake hands with 'Old Sparky', in Girton, Mississippi.
Well, he's done his time (a quarter of it anyway) and he can return to Sussex opulence and some sense of normality. He's been sucked in, chewed up and spat out by the penal system or what passes for justice in Great Britain the new 'Treasure Island'. A few more images from Charlies' gruelling ordeal..............
Above - Chaz, leaving HMP Wayland.........with at least 3 times the luggage that i take on a Ryan-Air flight.
Above - personal chauffeur from Norfolk to Sussex. Not a Group 4 van in sight.
Above - being taken by Dave and Polly to count his accrued pocket-money whilst inside.
Which is kept in the 'beach hut' below - but hurry up Charlie because this has been erected without permission and is due to be flattened very shortly...............
At least you are back home for Xmas Charlie, released around the time of Remembrance Day - at least try and appreciate the irony. Bear in mind that this is the first Armistice Day at which there is no longer any serving soldiers present at the The Cenotaph....................That is because they are all dead Charlie, their deaths might have been futile and preventable what was your fucking cause last year when you swung from the flags of the war dead? Student Loans? What the fuck do you know about student loans? These brave soldiers, the 'Lions' led by 'Donkeys' never came home, no chauffeur to meet them or Mummy to kiss everything better.......
"Home - This Must Be The Place"
Very apt, my favourite track from Talking Heads.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aMawfL1lE4k
I will leave the last word to another contribution by Pam, The Peoples' Poet and Charlies' representative on Earth when he is in jail.
So Chucks' done his time, spent 4 months in nick
Should've been a lot more, for being a dick
Done the crime, do the time the media hacks yelled
Your Mum, Polly, when young, herself was expelled
No signs of remorse for our great nations dead
Hang your head in shame it's for you that they bled
How did you manage all those long, lonely......weeks?
All we had was your mums' endless fucking tweets!
It's back to the World now - girls, drugs and beer
Scotch all those rumours of liking it queer
In time you'll look back and find it all quite a laff
Study your history, the page marked........Cenotaph!
They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old:
Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning
We will remember them.
From Laurence Binyon's poem For the Fallen, written in September 1914.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qda__aFhR6I
Hymn To The Fallen.
StourbridgeRantBoy has had a very bad cold recently but has managed to borrow 'Richards' mask in order not to spread it to his 3 followers............
