HORATIO CHAPPLE - BEAR NECCESSITIES....

Now the dust has settled and the poor lads' being laid to rest it might be timely to examine the facts surrounding this tragic incident, draw some conclusions and perhaps and perhaps reccomendations for future 'posh jollys' and have a bit of a laff in the process.............

Q. What happens when you cross a Polar Bear with a rich schoolboy?
A. Eton.

Below - Horatio Chapple from Eton to..............half Eton.


1. What were the little shits doing there in the first place?

Below - left, normal Eton intake and right, not fucking likely................

Having said that, if they did recruit a few ethnics they could also go on the expeditions as.......bait!

They were members of an elite posh schools club 18-31 type thingy. Obviously a bit more up market and specialising in 'exploration' and 'eductional recreation', "aim to help in the development of young people through the challenge of living and working in remote and testing areas of the world" according to Wikipedia.


Above - this years' doomed expedition of rich targets in a target-rich environment.

Perhaps, in the light of this incident and the fact that they could carry out their research a bit nearer to Blighty they might mount some expeditions to Tottenham, Birmingham or Manchester? Although security might be an issue and they would definately need a rifle that fires first time!

Below - preparation for the, much anticipated, trip including fully acquainting yourself with the potential dangers that Polar Bears pose by watching 'The Golden Compass' at least 3 times.


Below - Eton Corps 'rifles', on guard outside the tuck shop.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ttGtuZko_9I&feature=related

Below - be sure to take a reliable guide and a rifle that works.


Ironically, poor Horatios' grandfather, Sir John Chapple was the BSES president at the time of the incident. The BSES was founded by a surgeon who was a member of Scotts' doomed expedition 1910-13.

Below - Johnnys reaction to the news.

"Oh bugger!".

2. What were the safety procedures and why did they fail? and more importantly, who gives a fuck?

Police later disclosed that the organisers of the expedition had a gun which failed to fire four times and had not assigned a night watchman. Leaders of such expeditions are advised that camps should be protected either by trip wires, lookouts through the night or guard dogs; of those options, the camp used trip wires alone which then failed to trigger.

The local authority, requires a risk assessment, any camping trip as such has to to be approved.

Above - The local safety committee.

The attack took place on the Svalbard Archipelago, part of Norway - what tragic timing, there's never a rampaging Norwegian gun freak around when you want one!

Above - Anders, all ghillied up, seen recently in disguise on Svalbard, looking for priveliged British kids after having practiced on Norwegian ones.

Below - Svalbard Polar Bear warning, no need for any small print.


The fact that they had not appointed a lookout or employed a poor person from the nearest village, failed to tether a couple of dogs, used sub-standard trip wires and a knacker of a gun, probably of WW2 vintage means that they would be woefully inadequate to mount any expeditions to Englands' urban areas.

POLAR BEARS - THE FACTS.......................

The Worlds' largest, land-based, predator. There, that gives you a clue, be afraid, very afraid.

Above - the remains of last years' expedition.

SVALBARD has one of the densest populations of Polar Bears on Earth, estimated at around 3,000 breeding adults. The law requires you to carry a rifle away from the settlements, preferably one that works first time. It is also, statistically, one of the safest places on the planet where crime is virtually unknown. The only recent deaths have been caused by, yes, you guessed it......Polar Bears.

Above - "Hurry up, i've got a family to feed!"

Statistically, you are more likely to be killed by a Polar Bear than anything else, a sobering thought. There is, in fact, more bears than people on Svalbard. Posh kids are more likely to be killed than working-class kids as the latter have not had £212,000 spent on their education and cannot afford to visit the fucking place. Proof indeed that you just cannot buy common sense.

Above - it's toff at the top, Eton prefects discussing the going rate for oral sex with the 'freshers'.

DIET AND BREEDING BIOLOGY - Being, mainly, carnivorous feeds on Seals, Walrus and Whale carcasses. During the Summer months supplemented by berries and plants.

Generally avoids humans but the population on Svalbard has taken a liking to visiting posh kids because of their rich taste.

Burrows can be lined with grass and leaves and where available, pages from Debretts' and Who's Who. Hibernates in the Winter but awakens from time to time to surf the BSES website in order to time the arrival of seasonal food with the birth of the cubs.

THE SVARLBERG INCIDENT

Rich kid expedition, posh totty, no smelly immigrants, lashings of Ginger beer - what a jape. Only one problem, well, 3,ooo of them actually. Like water and sharks, Svalberg is their habitat. Your diet for the month might well be a mix of smoked salmon, canapes and Pimms, theirs is berries, seals, a smelly whale carcass and something seasonal to get the digestive juices going............you!

The poor creature, after being finally shot and examined revealed broken teeth, damage to one of its' eyes and was starving and emaciated (answers to the name of 'Lucky'). Much like a lot of the looters back in Blighty.

Below - 'Lucky' or unlucky depending on your perspective.

Had the animal not have been shot it would have only needed treatment for eating spoilt meat.....

Experts have said that Horatio was incredibly unlucky as, normally, Polar Bears would have found a name like that hard to swallow.

Animal psychologists have also not discounted the possibility that, with global warming imminent, the creature was suffering from depression and could have been a bi-Polar Bear?

Below - one lucky survivor, in honour of the 'fallen' Horatio has his back tattooed, depicting the main breeding areas on Svalbard of Polar Bears (big Red dots) and their migration routes (thin Red lines).



Below - last years' Maths teacher.

No more puns, it's becoming unbearable.

Winston says........

"Where's that fucking bear".

RUPERT MURDOCH AND REBEKAH BROOKS - EMPIRE OF THE SUN......

Well........this subjects' got legs and just like a salacious scoop from the, now deceased News Of The World, is going to run and run........with a bit of luck!

RUPERTGATE? MURDOCHGATE? There has to be a suitable 'GATE' somewhere.

I for one am not interested in being spoon-fed celebrity tittle-tattle on a daily basis by Ruperts' RedTop Rags. I am not interested in navel-gazing Hugh Grants' minutae, what colour pants Sienna fucking Miller is wearing or what 2-Jags Prescott has had for breakfast (that would be a special pull-out supplement, surely?). Hacking phones is illegal i just wished they had hacked mine, i could do with the money! Despite a certain % of the publics' preoccupation with celebs so-called 'journalists' along with their hacking contacts and a large number of bent coppers.

Employees of the newspaper were accused of engaging in phone hacking, Police bribery , and exercising improper influence in the pursuit of publishing stories. Investigations conducted from 2005–2007 concluded that the paper's phone hacking activities were limited to celebrities, politicians and members of the Royal Family. However, in July 2011, it was revealed that the phones of murdered schoolgirl Milly Dowler, relatives of deceased British soldiers, and victims of the 7/7 London bombings were also accessed, resulting in a public outcry against News Corporation and owner 'Roops'. Advertiser boycotts contributed to the closure of the News of the World on 10 July, ending 168 years of publication.



"ARE YOU FUCK!"

Below, - if only 'Roops could have foresaw the Citizen Kane scenario.



Above, - 'Street of Shame' ca1930's.

It's a story over 40 years in the making, ever since his first purchase of the above title in 1968 followed by the acquisition of The Sun a year later. He then proceeded to turn it into a tabloid and reduced costs (i.e. employees) by printing both titles on one press. That was a taste of things to come! The Sun went from struggling toilet paper to the countries' most popular daily paper with a circulation of about 10 million by 1997 although still a good substitute for toilet paper.

Below, left - 'Roops, "just one more thing, you'll do as your fucking told!"

Above, right - "where's Wapping?" - It does'nt matter pal, you're not going there!

In 1981 he purchased both The Times and The Sunday Times and with it the services of one of Fleet Streets' best editors, Harold Evans who only lasted a year and resigned over editorial issues with 'Roops'.

These 'purchases' and the lack of teeth and foresight from various bodies sowed the seeds of Murdochs' power base in this country, certainly with regard to the printed word long before the visions of media control via Sky and BskyB.

Below, left - 2 cunts for the price of one, Maxwell and Murdoch the Megalomaniac Media Magnates.

Above, right - and Maxwell as a much more useful fridge magnet.

Below, left, did he fall or was he pushed? 1 down, 1 to go.....

Above, right - Maxwells' 'death mask' made as the dying tycoon was told that he had raided the Mirror groups employees' pension fund for his own personal gain.

Just what drives a person to want to control so much media output? There have been numerous 'toadies' stepping out of the shadows recently to say that he did not interefere with day-to-day editorial issues.

BOLLOCKS.......................................

Somebody who goes to the time, trouble and cost to build a media empire for over 4o years does not merely wish to 'inform and enlighten'. Just a few words or the mere mention of somebodys' name to whoever was in charge would signal a scurrulous article or a campaign of smear and hate to anybody who had stood up and spoke out against him or his organisation!

This individual was able to manipulate voter's opinion from one political party to another. The 80's and most of the 90's saw his support for Thatcher and the Tories but he did'nt regard John Major very highly and could see a backlash looming and decided to jump ship. The fact that these papers can influence so many electoral 'sheep' and can influence marginal seats shoud, quite rightly be a cause for concern. I am not saying that papers should be apolitical but when so much power is concentrated in one person and their veiw on how the World should be run that is more akin to a dictatorship IMHO.

Let us hope that the Select Committees' 'grilling' of both Murdochs, Brooks and the useless, fucking coppers will just be the start of it. If MP Tom Watson has anything to do with it a White knuckle ride will be guaranteed. It is a great pity that it coincided with the Parliamentary Summer recess...........


Above, left - Tom Watson and Select Committee with Vaz.

A number of very important questions/issues need to be addressed.

• Were the Murdochs' aware that hacking in order to gain information (illegally) was taking place? If not why not.

Above, left - Smithers and Burns and right, The Murdochs.

• I cannot believe that Rebekah Kemp/Wade/Brookes was unaware that these activities were taking place under her editorship - what is she hiding? Who is she protecting? She has finally done the decent thing and resigned although shareholder 'pressure' would have been a factor.

Below, left - Goldilocks admitting that the NOTW had paid the Police for information.

Above, right - described by Ruperts' daughter Elizabeth as having 'fucked the company'.

• Very high profile employees of News International have resigned in the wake of this scandal, others have left the company recently. Why? It is too much of a coincidence, they also know where bodies are buried.

Below, gone, gone, gone.............going?

• I do not believe that journalists alone are responsible for the act of hacking, most are not adept at or knowledgable in this field and if they can get somebody else to do it they will. They will have been operating knowing this activity is illegal. These 'journalists' need to be named and taken to court.

Hackers, Blaggers and Journo's.....................................................

Above, left to right, Rees, Coulson and Mulcaire.

• Who else is assisting them? How are they able to furnish this information? What 'moles' do they have working in the mobile phone system able to sell information? How many 'retired' former Police officers are working in the private investigation business obtaining illegally acquired information from serving Police officers accessing OUR data-protected database and passing this onto journalists for financial gain?

• Who and how high up in the Metropolitan Police farce has knowledge that serving Police officers are being paid (in cash, that itself is illegal) to pass on private information to national newspapers in the knowledge that every, yes every, aspect of this activity is fucking illegal.

Below - the 3 stooges.

Left to right - Stephenson, Hayman and Yates 'of the Yard'.

• I hate the Police.
• Just thought you would like to know that!

Instead of Keith Vaz asking the Plods questions maybe we should have hired Mr T, he would'nt have pulled any punches asking the relevant questions..............


"Jurst shutt it wid de jibba-jabba or yooll meet ma frend..............PAIN!".

In fact i think he ought to do a TV 'special' featuring just the Metropolitan Police farce called -


Let's have a closer look at the major players, their 'issues', possible 'conflict of interests' and skeletons rattling away in the closet.

And the losers are...................

GLENN MULCAIRE

Known as 'Trigger' from his footie days and 'Alexander' on the NOTW 'expenses' sheet, paid well over £100,000 to hack the phones of celebs, a dead schoolgirl and relatives of dead soldiers also Royals for which he received a 6 month jail sentence in 2007. Recently convicted of drink-driving. It also came to light during the recent appearance of 'Roops' that Mulcaires' court expenses were still being paid, as they spoke, this has since been revoked so we are told.Oh, he also requested 'privacy' for his wife and kids - yor 'avvin a larf 'aincha?

Hacking the phone of a dead schoolgirl in order to free up storage space and give the impression that there might just be a glimmer of hope that the poor girl was alive makes, you, MULCAIRE a ..................Grade A Weapons........CUNT! of the first order.

CLIVE GOODMAN

Might be Goodman but not a particularly nice one!. Former Royal editor of NOTW jailed, along with the above for 4 months and sacked from the rag but upon leaving 'clinky' was awarded substantial damages from NOTW as it was deemed that they might not have followed 'procedures' in dismissing him. It begs the question, does anybody follow 'procedures' at NOTW? Has subsequently been re-arrested recently, along with Andy Coulson following the present revelations as the jail term only related to the Royal hacking incident.

Anybody who gets back from work and tells his kids that his job is making up gossipy stories about the Royal Family deserves a................public Fucking in Sainsburys!

JONATHAN REES

This Tub of Lard was paid £150,000 a year to obtain information from corrupt Police contacts and illegal sources. The NOTW knew how he obtained his information and paid him accordingly! He is no stranger to corruption and the rumours of corruption. He, along with several others plus a serving copper have long been under suspicion for the conspiracy and murder of a private investigator over 20 years ago. The dead man was found in a car park of a pub in South London with an axe buried in the front of his head! It was suspected that he had information regarding drugs and corrupt Police officers in the South London force (does this not have a familiar ring about it?) and was murdered to silence him. The investigation continues as his family will not give up.

Oh, by the way, the dead investigator, Daniel Morgan, was Rees' business partner! 'Iss a funnee old gayme innit'. He is also no stranger to choky as he was jailed for 7 years for planting cocaine on a woman in order to discredit her during divorce proceedings! This twat was one of four 'investigators' all of whom are now convicted criminals. Upon release he was duly re-employed by NOTW to practice his 'dark arts' under 'new boy'.........Andy Coulson!

This corrupt, Police arse-licking, money-grabbing fat fuck needs to be sent back to prison where he should be analy-raped until he is dead............

ANDY COULSON

Above - with his former boss, Chequers drinking chum and fellow West Oxfordshire socialite the one and only.........David 'call me Dave' Cameron. Andy actually lives in Forest Hill, Sarf Lundon, where his house is probably de-valuing my Fathers', (hello Dad!)

"Let me through, i'm a spin-doctor".

Where doooo you start with Andy? He's had more jobs than Terry-Bloody-Wogan, has been Editor of this and that, political advisor to the Tories and took a wage cut to work for DCam and was still on more than Nick Clegg or anybody else in the cabinet! Another, useless, unfuckingelected, 'special' advisor. Dave was advised not to employ this greasy twat as he had left NOTW under a cloud of suspicion and insisted that background checks were carried out. Yes they were but by another NOTW investigative employee! Fox looking after the chickens springs to mind. Where do they get there logic from? At present nothing seems to stick to 'Teflon Andy' but i have a feeling all that is about to change, it's only a matter of time.

Andy, at a recent awards ceremony with fellow hacks Piers and Bex, receiving his 'greasy twat of the year' award.

Q. What have the 3 individuals got in common?
A. They are all lying bastards, Oh, and they've all edited NOTW which amounts to the same thing.

Andy has consistently denied conspiracy, duplicity and a whole host of accusations with regard to his knowledge of 'dark arts' and illegal information gathering, bribes to the Police etc etc. Don't worry Andy - they just have'nt been proved yet. As more and more people get pulled out of the woodwork and wronged individuals be they 'celebs', MP's or 'normal people' lights will be shone into dark corners and the truth will out and lets' hope that when you and your lying, scumbag cronies are rightly jailed you will get a 'beasting' on a daily basis..............

FUCKING COPPERS..............

Whether they are bent, corrupt, lazy, useless, thick or fat, the Met has more than its' fair share. Serious questions need to be asked!

• Why did the Police drag its' heels on the initial hacking issues?
• How many serving Police are implicated in taking cash for information, plain old-fashioned fucking bribery?
• How many illegal access incidents on the Polices' National Database are logged?
• Why are retired Police officers allowed to set up a private investigators?
• Why can't the Police be trusted to investigate themselves?
• Why are senior Police officers allowed to resign and keep their full pension and enhancements instead of being suspended and if found guilty of corruption etc be sacked thus leaving in disgrace without big fat pensions?

There is nothing, absolutely, nothing, worse than a bent copper. They should be jailed, fined, vilified, whatever. When they take public office this is what they are betraying, if bent coppers are not dealt with and issues only covered up then the publics' perception of and trust in, the Police, is diminished accordingly.

The offending individuals, below, have gone from cornerstone to keystone....coppers.

SIR PAUL STEPHENSON

Sir Paul Stephenson is a slap headed, tango tanned, dodgy as fuck senior Police Officer who sells information to the press for holidays at Champney's type of Cunt.

He is pictured above with Neil Wallis who worked as a PR advisor for the up-market health type spa that specialises in powdering Cherie Blairs fanny and telling Frank Bruno that he's intelligent. The celubrios dump is run by social mover and fixer Stephen Purdew who inherited it from his mum. Despite his 'elite' education Purdew seems to have a chip on his shoulder and when asked about the possibility of DCam winning the election quipped,

‘I thought we’d had enough of being run by f****** Etonians who haven’t done a day’s work in their lives,’ declared the millionaire former Midhurst Grammar School boy whose health resort business was started by his mother. ‘He won’t get my vote.’

'Ma' Purdew, perhaps not the best advert for Champneys'

Can't see the Camerons enrolling there anytime soon.

Guests regularly partake of the 'lucrative' but as yet, unproven, benefits of its' kriotherapy facility installed by none other than former jockey and now novelist...............Charlie Brooks! Newest second-husband of Bex nee Goldilocks. All very fucking cushtee. Another long-time mucker of Purdew is none other than Jimmy Saville and Champneys' featured at least once during each series of Jim'll Fix It! More like Jim'll Plug It. Let's get Jimbo in for questioning on at least a 'conflict of interests' before the octagenarian, havana-toting, never had a girlfriend, bent-as-fuck, dick jockey sorry disk jockey goes into cryogenic suspended animation!

Jim could'nt be contacted at present but his agent gave the following statement.

"I've ad a let-ter from a yung maan, a mister Purdew, oo wantz to bea Nooorthunner for a day, e az askd me if i cud fix it forr im, e reminded mee ov ow menny free stayz wot i've ad at Champnees and wud lyke tha fayvor returned, i deny all knowledge of yung mr Purdew and a backdated chek for my visits and the alledged damage to tha glory 'oles woz nuthin to doo with me"

(Followed by funny noise sounding like 'uuh-aaaah-oooouuuh-aaaaaaaah, owzaboutthtthen' much jingling and jangling of oversized bling)

Below - Jimmy Saville and Myra Hindley.

Is she really dead? I mean you never see them together do you?

Another dodgy-as-fuck high-profile user of another of Purdews 'facilities' in Leicestershire, where he happens to be a serving MP, is none other than Keith Vaz! Purdew happens to be a godfather to one of Vazs' kids and Purdews' son has just completed a placement as an intern for Vaz, surely a clash of interests there? Particularly as Vaz, no stranger to allegations of corruption, is chair of the select committee investigating the whole sordid affair.

Above, left, Vaz and Chris Biggins, both must have used the same tanning facilities.

Sir Paul Stephensons reason for resigning is due to the fact that he, following medical treatment, took a gratis 20-day £12,000 break at Champneys' arranged by Neil 'Mr Fixit' Wallis who not only was head of PR there but also working for NOTW gathering information and bribing fucking coppers on the side! You could not make it up honestly, talk about as thick as thieves!

Below, one of these people is a much-loved champion of the Police and a spokesman for truth and honesty the other is Sir Paul Stephenson.



Above, Sir Paul accepting a medal and ribbon from The Queen for 'services to Policing', if you look closely at Sir Paul you will see that even he has trouble taking it seriously himself.

ANDY HAYMAN..........DAFT and DAFFY

Well............you might do just as well having his lookalike in charge!

Like most coppers, he probably started out meaning well and then, much further up the ladder, abuse of power mixed with the heady cocktail of rank priveliges and a sprinkling of hubris and you end up with somebody like Andy Hayman or 'Asbo Andy' as his colleagues jokingly referred to him. With his Del Boy mannerisms, estuary English and his fruity linguistics he, more than any of the Keystones, was a character straight out of the TV series 'Life on Mars'. Somewhere along the line work, sort of, got in the way. The 'way' being that he seemed to regard himself as something of a 'fanny magnet'. Something which his first wife Amanda would attest to having caught him out a number of times and left him due to his constant philandering.


"Fuck it, let's go down the pub/health spa/gratis hotel"

Just what is the attraction? I can only assume it is 'coz e iz a copper'.

Below, left - 'Asbo Andy'........sex on legs?

Above, right - typically modest at the recent Select Committee, "no, honestly, my cock is THAT big".

Hayman resigned from the Service on 4 December 2007, following allegations about expense claims and alleged improper conduct with a female member of the Independent Police Complaints Commission (IPCC) and a female Sergeant. Bear in mind we are talking about a married man (2nd time round) with a couple of kids here. There are associated issues of thousands of pounds worth of expenses, far too much for a bloke........on his own.......in a hotel room.........also hundreds of text sent to various women including the IPCC bint who subsequently 'left' i.e. got transferred to the ACPO - nice work if you can avoid it luv.

Below, left former IPCC worker Nikki Redmond, now relocated to ACPO..........oh, also married by the way...........oh, to another copper...........

Above, right - Heidi Tubby, Haymans 'staff'' officer and serving sergeant, followed him from Norfolk to London and accompanied him on domestic and foreign trips also had £15,000 of public money spent on her via his Police Amex card and why did he spend nights in hotels when he had a publicly-funded 'grace and favour' apartment nearby? Sure got a pretty mouth, Heidi ....


Above - Redmond and Hayman 'snapped' near Liverpool St Station 'over 400 texts and phone calls' - criticised for 'inappropriate contact'. Make up your own mind, mine already is........

Since leaving the Met he has written a number of newspaper articles for The Times, owned by 'you-know-who', in defence of both the NOTW and the hacking implications, so a sort of PR exercise from a 'man in the know' i.e a seriously dodgy bent copper with an inordinate amount of testosterone coursing through his knob when he is'nt making a big fucking eejit of himself at Select Committee meetings.


ASSOCIATION OF CROOKED POLICE OFFICERS

JOHN "YATES OF THE YARD" YATES


Yates rose, fairly quickly, during his 5 year stint as Assistant Commissioner in The Met (2006-11) as part of the 'Special Inquiry Squad' also known as the 'Celebrity Squad' as they seem to spend a lot (inordinate?) amount of time investigating so-called high-profile individuals who, for whatever reason, have found themselves on he wrong side of the law. That is until they engage the services of an over-priced barrister to defend them and get them off, on a technicality, something that normal people can only aspire to now that there have been massive cuts to the Legal Aid system.

Below, Yates explaining to the Select Committee that although he acknowledges that he is a prick, he is not as big a prick as Hayman.


Notable 'victories' during his tenure included.......Lord Archers' perjury case..........the 'Who Wants To Be a Millionaire' fraud case.........John Leslies' rape case.........and the Paul Burrell theft case, which duly collapsed! Cases which have pushed the boundaries of legal priorities and have made a real difference to the lives of the great tax-paying public of this country................NOT.

He co-ordinated the UK Police response to the 2004 tsunami which involved a lot of travelling to a nice country with good weather and free food at a time of year when everybody else is freezing their tits off! For this, he was awarded the Queens' Police Medal - you know, the sort of thing that does'nt quite fit into a Xmas cracker...... for doing your fucking job for which you get paid a shit-load of money and an enhanced pension.

He also headed the team that investigated the 'Cash for Honours' scandal which tainted the government of the war criminal and smug bastard Tony Blair. Months of information gathering led to the CPS (Criminal Protection Service) deciding that it was not worth bringing a case. Nice one John. In between, he had another nice 'jolly' jetting off abroad to apologise to the family of Charles De Menenzes for being in the wrong place at the wrong time and, even worse, being in the sights of a firearms-trained Police officer of The Met. I can feel a wrongful shooting coming on!

Finally, Yates was tasked with reviewing the NOTW phone hacking scandal and his approach, lack of thoroughness and general unwillingness to shine a light into dark corners as well as failure to follow-up on the investigation of his own bent colleagues over illegal payments for hacked information led to his resignation for which he nearly 'had his arm ripped off'!...........and all-round waste of space!

So, to summarise, the jailing of a lying novelist and that is about the sum of your achievements, not much of a CV filler is it Johnny Boy??? Archer even wrote a novel about his time in jail and the bonding that he had with his fellow cons called 'Ring of the Lords.

Due to your inefficiency, connivance with journalists from News International (whom you now
write regularly for). You 'Yates of the Yard' are also a WGC, a Weapons Grade Cunt!

Being a former 'Top Cop' Yates will be a Mason (although this will be strenuously denied) in fact, known to 'like a drink' he hosted the WGC awards this year at his own, licensed, Masonic Lodge.



Unbeknown to Johnny, he was to be the surprise recipient of an 'honorary' WGC award.


Above, John was so shocked by the surprise award all he had to say was "I have known for years that i was a cunt, that had been acknowledged by the cunts around me, but to find out that i am a ................Weapons Grade Cunt is a very humbling experience. (sniffle-sniffle).

The award is accompanied by the Camels Toe Cup which is retained for one year.


John also received a signed picture and card from celebrity singer Rhianna who, recently, was awarded the title - 'Celebrity Camels Toe of the Year'.


Above, left - Rhianna c/w 'camels toe' and 'Well Done' card for John.

LAST, BUT BY NO MEANS LEAST IS......................

REBEKAH BROOKS

Above, Bex - IMO, does'nt look as good in harsh light?

"Likeable, Charming, Ambitious, Intelligent rather than Academic". You could add to that, Scheming, Manipulating, Thoughtless, possibly a bit 'up her own arse', fit-looking, nice knockers, not bad legs, 'i'd give it one' and of course.............a Ginger shag.

That's better, a bit softer and maybe a few minutes on Photoshop.

And, right - polishes up nicely!

Ex-crush of East Enders and Afghanistan war hero 'hard man' Ross Kemp - although their relationship was'nt all rosy-cosy, in fact she was detained at a Police station on a 'Domestic Violence' charge having been accused of thumping poor old Ross. Ironically the paper whe was editing at the time The Sun was campaigning at the time on the very subject!


Above - C'mon Ross, 'grow a pair'.

Below - after Ross had finished being questioned by the Police and had agreed to drop the charges he was advised to wear suitable clothing when Bex was in the house.


A Grammer school education was 'embellished' by an alleged period of studying at the Sorbonne in Paris. This period does not stand up well under closer scrutiny but looks good in 'Who's Who', Sorbonne has now become SorPoint!

Her journalistic career has been meteroic, to say the least, from Secretary to Features Writer to Youngest Editor of a National Newspaper, The NOTW, in 2000. Whilst at The Sun she attempted to get the Page 3 feature removed, unsuccessfull but laudable. She has, editorially, campaigned on various issues, whether this is personally motivated or to sell more papers only she can answer that. The famous 'name and shame' incident when she chose to name known paedophiles and their associated addresses backfired when it became apparant that a number of The Suns' readers did not know the difference between a kiddy-fiddling nonce and somebody who deals with kids. The difference between a professional who has an interest in child health and somebody who has an unhealthy interest in young pre-pubescent children! She also ran the headline 'Bonkers Bruno Locked Up', referring to the mental health issues that Britains favourite boxer was experiencing at the time after an acrimonious split from his wife. She made amends by patronising the mental health charity SANE. I mean PR-wise you would be mad not to!

Under questioning in 2003 by a Parliamentary Select Committee with regard to paying people for illegally gained information she admitted that payments had been paid to the Police, a statement that she later broadened to 'mean' the practise 'goes on' but she had no knowledge of specifics. This backtracking and 'convenient' memory loss might have something to do with Murdochs daughter, Elizabeth saying that she had 'fucked the company'!

Careful what you say Liz, Bex is referred to as 'Roops' other daughter........

Below, left, 'Oh dear, have i fucked the company?'

Above, right, 'Roops' with his 'other' daughter.......

Below, another 'Liz' meeting people with real power.


All the while, making powerful friends and contacts along the way.


THE CHIPPING NORTON 'SET'

To some observers, the fact that a 'cliquey' group of media, newspaper, celebrities and politicians live within cork-popping distance of each other where the Oolitic (egg-stone) Limestone of West Oxfordshire merges with Cotswolds does more than just raise eyebrows. We are talking, obviously of Cameron, along with Matthew Freud who is married to Elizabeth Murdoch. Jeremy Clarskon, the Brookes', Steve Hilton, Camerons knuckle-headed political adviser along with his wife, Rachel Whetstone who happens to be communications chief for none other than Google the Worlds top search engine. SamCams parents are also close by as are a whole host of powerful business-types who have set up camp in the locale.

Very fucking cosey!

David Cameron remembered the first party and his meeting with 'Roops' and Bex.

"Ahhh, come in Mr Cameron, we've been expecting you".

All wine and dine with each other frequently deciding how to manipulate our lives whether it be in Parliament or the Paper. Well..........all that has taken a bit of a nosedive of late.........one or two people have become about as popular as untreated sewage and the soirees have dried up. Bex resigned or rather was forced to, finally, bowing to pressure from News Internationls' major arab shareholder. Bex, loyal as ever, has retained her silence, denying all knowledge of any wrongdoings just like she did with the back-tracked Police bribes. Her much-trumpeted appearance before the Select Committee did little to shed any further light on the activities of her former boss. Indeed, it has been rumoured that she has been told to lie low and travel for a year, at 'Roops' expense and a job will be found for her upon her return to public life?



Indeed she informed 'Roops' at one of the dinner parties, the worse for wear after a few drinks, that after blabbing about Police payments that she feared the repercussions of her ill-timed remark.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XypVcv77WBU

'Roops' did'nt take it too well!

Above, a scene from the Channel 4 documentary, 'All About Evil'.

Following her resignation after the recent Select Committee hearings Dave was called to Bexs' mansion only to be told that...........

"Since i split with 'Roops' nobodys' called for a while, i've wasted all this fucking food, the Pimms has gone flat so there wo'nt be any more parteys"

Bex hastily arranged one last meeting with 'Roops'.

Bex to 'Roops' - "see ya in a yeer Cobber'.

Roops to Bex - "Just one for old times' sake? Ginger Sheilas give the best head".

How will Bex fill her time? Rumours of a £3.5 million pay-off means she won't starve and there is still all the food from the unattended parties!

There are rumours of a book deal........

The possibility of a cameo in the next Harry Potter?

Above - Mags and Miriam don't think the hat is 'witchy' enough!

There is a downside though, Mick Hucknall (that is his hair by the way) is fed up with being spat at and does'nt need the hate mail.


And there has been quite a demand for Red Staffordshire Bull Terriers called Bex.


If only her good friend, Mystic Meg could have foretold up and coming events.

http://soundcloud.com/rollingthunder/mysticmegswarning

She is, above all else, a survivor and i have no doubt........

'She'll be back!'

"ROOPS"

Above, Roops' usual mode of transport.

But what of the man himself? He cuts a lonely figure orbiting in the Death Star somewhere above Wapping. This post is not about Murdoch but about his 'Empire' and the tentacles of lies and deceit that eminate from it. There is something seriously wrong, IMO, with somebody that craves that much control and power. This government needs to turn around people like Murdoch so that we can have our country, media and press back.

The chairman of the Press Complaints Commission said of Rupert Murdoch that, although he started out with good intentions, his unbridled acquistion of so many papers had led him to say....

http://soundcloud.com/rollingthunder/unsound



Above - the headline wot we never 'ad.

There are rumours of a 'Sun on Sunday' - denied but the domain name was registered following the closure of the News Of The World.

Above - early applicant as Chief Editor for the 'Sun on Sunday', SOS for short, its' going to need all the help it can get!


Will he go or wont he? His mum is 102 so i would'nt bet on it.


For you, Rupert, 'they are 'a' changin'.............

Winston says - "If you can't fight, wear a big hat"