Above, right - they're just wild about Harry.
What's all the fuss about? The boy only wants to serve his country and impress his Grandmother, Missy Quin.
Above - Not impressive.......................Missy Quin, not impressed!
It would be his second posting, if approved, following a 77 day tour with the Blues and Royals as an FAC (Forward Air Controllor) in Afghanistan in 2007 - albeit training as a Tank Commander.
Harry was intially slotted to serve in Maysan Province in Iraq but was put on hold as he was deemed to high profile and after several of the local MullahNutters threated to kidnap him - i do'nt suppose they would have appreciated the irony had they demanded 'a kings' ransom' although technically it would have to be a 'future king 3rd in line to the throne.....ransom'!
Although Harry did'nt make it to Iraq, his regiment did and a number of soldiers wore T-shirts emblazoned with the slogan 'I'm Harry' - a reference to the 1960's Hollywood blockbuster, SPARTACUS.
"I'm Spartacus"
He would'nt be the first Royal to be put 'in harms way'. If he had chosen another branch of the services i.e. The Navy he would not be potentially in the same danger proximity that being in The Army means. The fact that our Armed Forces are involved in a conflict of undetermind validity, of unknown duration and fighting a threat which is perceived as low on priorities whether it be threat or financial given the current shortage of funds and reduction in numbers of serving soldiers.
It seems that more priority is to be given to the Territorial Army much like the Americans do with their 'reservists'. All fine and well but the Yanks throw far more time and money at their reservists and their employers not only allow their employees to serve but they are financially compensated whist on active service. Given that the military is run by accountants not generals i for one am not optimistic. When this (and Blairs') government stop using troops willy-nilly to appease their mates at the UN and start looking at home-grown terrorism then they might actually improve the morale of the remaining troops and get the support of the great British public IMO.
The TA form about 25% of the Armys' current manpower - they were formed for Home defence but that remit was changed in 1967.
There is, of course, a long history of military association and the Royal Family.
http://soundcloud.com/rollingthunder/englishandproud
Below, left - Queen and Queen mum, Ladies Day at Ascot 1942.
Above, right - Mr and Mrs Simpson 'there's something about a man in a uniform'
EDDIE BOY - EARL OF WESSEX
Below, Larry, as the Dread King delivering the 'St Crispins Day' speech.
Above - Eddie in his famous 'Once more down to the beach pose'!
Eddie's foray into the military was less successful than his sibling, Andy, his dad 'Phil the Greek' was also decidedly unimpressed, nay infuriated, when he left after only......................4 months. This, following a degree at Cambridge after being allowed in with below grade entry qualifications!
The expression "it's not what you know, it's who you know" has never been truer.
Life was'nt easy in the Marines for 'Eddie Boy'.
“I am hard, but I am fair. There is no racial bigotry here. I do not look down on niggers, kikes, wops or greasers. Here you are all equally worthless I will only single out the British Royal Family as none of the Queens' sons are worthy enough to serve in my beloved Corps"!
I did'nt realise that Prince Edward was only 5'9" high?
http://soundcloud.com/rollingthunder/illbewatchingyou
"Welllll, fuck me, if it is'nt a fucking Prince"!
"Can i come 'round and......NOT......fuck your sister"!
Above - a fellow marines' reaction upon being told that Prince Edward is to join the regiment.
A few more snaps obtained from the military archives.............
Eddie, below - on the ropes and right, spotted recently carrying Prince Harrys' rifle and condoms.
The rifle is for vermin control at Sandringham, the condoms are for the weekend 'shoot'.
Kid to Prince - 'and what do you want to do when you grow up'
Prince to Kid - 'I wanna join the Marines, for a few months, and learn how to kill a man.........eventually'.
"Don't panic, Eddies' here"
The other lads in the Mess did'nt approve of Eddie 'customising' his helmet.
Below - Eddie enjoying himself at the Officers' disco.
Below, left, Eddies' mum at a ceremony apologising for Eddie joining the Marines.
Above, right, the words fag and Marine are now considered synonomous in the military.
Even Marvo, the resident military magician was called in as a last resort...........
"Eeeet iz no goooood, i ken turrn za ffrogg into ze Preeeeence but i kennnnot tuurn ze Preeeence into a Mareeeeeen"!
Piss-taking aside - below is an actual photo of 'Eddie Boy' presenting the Duke of Edinburgh Award in Australia (nice work if you can get it) to a young lady whos' name is, wait for it, Victoria Cross! - You could'nt make it up and i have'nt - that is about the nearest he will get to a Victoria Cross!
Finally, erstwhile Prince Edward biographer Michael Caine adds......
His official title 'Earl of Wessex' is also an acronym. He was christened Edward, Anthony, Richard, Louis and not a lot of people know that!
All that taxpayer-funded training did'nt go to waste tho'. he worked for two theatrical production companies, including Andrew Lloyd Webbers' Really Useful Theatre Company. Edward forayed into television with the, instantly forgettable, 'It's a Royal Knockout' in June 1987, in which teams sponsored by himself and other members of the Royal Family competed for charity. The media attacked the programme; it was reported that the Queen had not approved of the event and that her courtiers had advised against it. Nice one Eddie. In 1993, Edward formed Ardent Productions, under the name of Edward Windsor from 1995 and later Edward Wessex. Ardent was involved in the production of a number of documentaries and dramas, but Edward was accused in the media of using his royal connections for financial gain. The company reported losses for every year of its existence except one, and only then because Edward did not draw a salary.
Below, Eddie humbly receives WTOTY 2011 to add to the previous 3 years'.
RANDY ANDY - DUKE OF YORK
On to Prince 'Randy Andy leaves 'em bandy' Andrew.
The only one of the Queens' kids to have actually joined up and do what it says on the tin!
Andrew in uniformed 'fanny magnet' pose.
Despite his post-military activities Andy distinguished himself during the Falklands 'conflict' emerging as a well-liked character and respected pilot. He mixed well with others socially no matter what their rank and was know for his 'fruity' use of the English language (presumably inherited from his Father), taste for alcohol and a healthy, active interest in those of the opposite sex which makes him a bit of a Red-blooded ambassador for the Royal Navy which usually needs all the heterosexual publicity that it can get!
There is no truth in the rumour that whenever he went to go to the toilet somebody would push in and remind him that he was 'second in line to the throne', boom-boom!
Below, left, with his helicopter and right, with his favourite chopper.
He formally carried the title of Duke of York, disliked at first, something he got used to when it was explained that one of his predecessors was not gay and did not 'have 10,000 men'! Due to his obsession with the opposite sex he was unofficially labelled the 'Duke of Kunt'.............honestly!
During the Falklands campaign he was based on HMS Invincible as a co-pilot on a Sea King helicopter engaged in anti-submarine duties. He also undertook Exocet missile decoy and casualty evacuation duties - considering the accuracy of these weapons the two missions could be very closely related! In fact Andrew was acting in the former role for the container ship 'Atlantic Conveyor' when it was, unfortunately hit by 2 of these anti-shipping strikes. He was first to lift off survivors, the ship was completely burnt-out with the loss of all but one of its' Chinook helicopters the Sea Harriers having, fortunately, left prior to this incident.
Above - The Atlantic Conveyor, post-Exocet, Andy was said to be deeply traumatised by the loss as each one of the containers contained a weeks' supply of condoms.
Only the powers that be know what all this was about.......................
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wl8etDqvvmQ&feature=related
The Atlantic Conveyer was requisitioned by the Ministry of Defence under the STUFT system (Ships Taken Up For Trade) - for the 12 brave seamen who died they were well and truly STUFFED. Pink Floyds' 1983 album, " The Final Cut" included an excerpt from a news broadcast about the replacement of the Atlantic Conveyor in track 1, "The Post-War Dream". The news broadcast states the replacement was due to be built in Japan, although it was eventually built in the UK.
Below, left - Andy, back in Portsmouth and his reaction that a container of the Atlantic Conveyors' condoms had remained intact and altho a % had been retained by the Navy for the purposes of anal sex he could have the rest for private use...............
Above, right - then girlfriend Koo Starkers bracing herself for 'Randy Andy' in 'rest and recreation' mode.
Below - HMS INVINCIBLES' Chief Engineer on hearing that some of the salvaged condoms will be allocated among the lower ranks for the 'long' journey back to Blighty.
Since leaving the Navy in 2001 Andy has had many fingers in many pies and his 'career' has been controversial, to say the least. He divorced prior to this in May 1966 - oddly enough he has not been associated with notable female company of late, only his daughters and his ex-wife.
Andy, above - looking thoughtful and pensive whilst mentally totalling up his Air Miles.
He has been embroiled in a number of 'shady' dealings with 'murky' individuals to say the least. His 'job' has been as a 'special representative' for the Department of Trade and Investment. This has taken him all over the known World clocking up far more miles than he ever did in a chopper! So much so that he earned the nickname 'air miles Andy', earning and spending a small fortune in the process.He is a golf 'buddy' with the billionaire son-in-law of the President of Khazakstan who purchased his Sunningdale home for £3million more than the market value!!! Stories of offers of payment for Andy for introductions that would facilitate business deals abound and close association with a convicted businessman/sex offender who is currently in jail has not done his image any favours.
Maybe if he had gone to Uni instead of the Navy he might have had a more relevant qualification to pursue a career but that would have bucked the trend as there are only 5 people in the history of the Royal Family to gain a University degree........................................
He currently recieves £249.000 from his mum annually. Last year he spent £620,000 as a trade envoy, including £154,000 on hotels, food and hospitality and £465,000 on travel. He has now done the decent thing and resigned from this position, much to everyones relief............
CHUCK - PRINCE OF WALES
Which brings us on to...........................Charles. Just what do you do with him? A role model for benefit scroungers everywhere.Below are just a few images garnered off of the Internet to illustrate the bewildering variety of uniforms and bling that are available to him.
There's something about a soldier.
Below, Sharpe image, Sean Bean, proper soldier.
http://soundcloud.com/rollingthunder/something-about-a-soldier
Impressive is'nt it? The man who won't be King.
Unlike his brother Andrew, awarded the Falkland Islands medal, Prince Charles has not been decorated for active service in a war. Instead his honours are made up of awards for serving in a particular time or place, being a member of a high-ranking order or medals from other countries.
So just what are all those 'medals' for??? Below is the official version.
"Me, actually risk my life? Not fucking likely!
1: Order of Merit, civil version
2: GCB
3: Queen's Service Order (New Zealand)
4: Queen's Coronation medal
5: Queen's Silver Jubilee medal
6: Queen's Golden Jubilee medal
7: Canadian forces decoration
8: NZ commemorative medal
9: Knight of Most Noble Order of the Garter
THE UNOFFICIAL VERSION.
1. Successfull in potty training.
2. First wank at Sandringham.
3. First conversation with a Black person.
4. Watched the film 'ZULU'.
5. Best organic sausage from the Duchy of Cornwall estate.
6. For just 'being' with Camilla.
7. Surviving a 'bin' attack from Charlie Gilmour.
8. Long service medal for being heir apparant.
9. Most decorated 'Royal' without actually serving in a combat zone.
BIG WILLY - DUKE OF CAMBRIDGE
Prince William, due to the fact that he is second in line to the throne, has done an awful lot of..... training! I do not think that he will be placed in harms' way anytime soon. 'Big Willy' is an affectionate nickname from his missus. On base at RAF Valley, where he serves as a SAR (Search and Rescue) pilot, his call-sign is 'Billy the Fish'. To add to the confusion he enrolled at the University of St Andrews as 'William Wales' but was referred to by other students simply as 'Steve'. The 'Press' loved to call him 'Wills' like they had all been to school together and when he was much younger his parents called him............'Wombat'!
Above, left - Billy the Fish and right, all very confusing for the new bride.
Above, left, William of Wales and right, "just call me Steve"
Above, left, being a Royal can be bad for your health and right, 'have you seen this man?'
To date William has only been involved in 2 'incidents' with regard to his military service. He helped identify and capture a vessel smuggling £40million of cocaine whilst in the Caribbean and as a co-pilot of a Sea King he was scrambled from RAF Anglesey to Morecambe Bay for a suspected heart attack, presumably a tourist had seen the price of fish and chips!
More worringly he is.......................Left-handed so the 13th of August is a busy day for him.
HARRY - PRINCE OF WALES
Finally - back to the subject of the post (probably the first and last time he will be called a subject).
After finishing Eton, leaving with 2 A levels, a B in Art and a D in Geography he probably decided that a university education would not be a wise choice and opted instead for that traditional plan B..........the military! He was duly commissioned in the Blues and Royals and served 77 days in Afghanistan before being pulled following the publication of an article in an Australian magazine.
Harry said that during that tour of duty in Afghanistan he "grew up a lot"
Above, left, Harry leaves for Afghanistan and, right, 4 months later.
Was Afghanistan a wise choice? He is known for being 'candid' with regard to Pakis and the like referring to a couple of his other Officer cadets as 'our little Paki friend' and another is a 'raghead' however this has to be balanced by his alleged homophobia which should go down well with the local Jihadists who are of the same persuasion.
Prince Phillip - "wish i had said that!"
Below, left, Johnny Jihad says 'i'm with Harry, death to all batty-boys, i have burnt my Elton John record collection, and i'm not Harrys' dad!"
Above, right, let's face it, in a company of soldiers there is going to be at least one Paki and one Poof!
"Go ahead, punk, make my day!"
Of course Harry is no stranger to 'mixing it' and lashings of R 'n' R.
Above, desperately seeking paparazzi and right, 'one of the lads'.
Some of it even involves 'gels'.
Harry's looking forward to serving in a supporting role.
Either on or off-duty............
He also has an important message for the Taliban!
And has been fitted with the latest weapons.
Prince Harrier - target shooting made easy.
YOU KNOW IT MAKES SENSE..........
He also has an important message for the Taliban!
And has been fitted with the latest weapons.
He is also a renowned crack shot.
Tuesday, 6 November 2007
No charges against Prince Harry
No charges against Prince Harry
Prince Harry will not face charges in connection with the alleged shooting of two protected hen harriers on the royal family's estate in Norfolk.
Witnesses say the birds were shot dead on the edge of the Sandringham estate.
Police officers identified three suspects - Prince Harry, William van Cutsem and David Clarke, a gamekeeper.
All three have denied any involvement and the Crown Prosecution Service says there is not enough evidence to bring the case to court.
An investigation began after the deaths of the hen harriers on the Sandringham Estate on 24 October.
A royal spokesman confirmed police spoke to Prince Harry and a friend but they had no knowledge of the incident.
Following the incident, a Clarence House spokesman said: "Because Prince Harry and a friend were both in the area at the time, the police have been in contact with them and asked them if they have any information that could help.
"Unfortunately, they had no knowledge of the alleged incident."
Bodies not found
Hen harriers are extremely rare with 749 nesting pairs in the UK.
The Royal Society for the Protection of Birds say they are disappointed with the outcome and described the shooting of hen harriers as an extremely serious crime.
They said a warden monitoring the harriers saw the birds being hit and heard a shot but did not see the shooter.
However, the Crown Prosecution Service (CPS) said: "The bodies of the hen harriers have not been found and there is no forensic or ballistic evidence."
CPS lawyer Andrew Baxter added: "I am satisfied the police investigation has been thorough and there are no other areas of investigation which can be pursued."
Prince Harrier - target shooting made easy.
Just one last question, Harry......Who's the Daddy???
YOU KNOW IT MAKES SENSE..........
WINSTON SAYS.........
"FUCK WITH ME AND YOU'LL MEET MY FRIEND........PAIN!"
"FUCK WITH ME AND YOU'LL MEET MY FRIEND........PAIN!"
